Dan Bilzerian will be appointed as the new Minister of Defense of Armenia

3 May 2024
Dan Bilzerian
This was announced yesterday at a closed meeting of the Government.
“After I came to power, we launched a large-scale psychological study of the personnel of the RA Armed Forces. Because of the war, it slowed down, but now we finally have stunning results,” said Nikol Pashinyan.

According to the study, the main reason for demoralization is the lack of a strong leadership personality in the army.

The Prime Minister, being the wisest leader of the nation, knew about this situation in advance, so he gave citizenship to Bilzerian back in 2018.
Dan Bilzerian
Dan Bilzerian
With the arrival of the American specialist, large-scale reforms in the army are expected. The future Minister of Defense will donate 200 pickup trucks from his personal fleet, the soldiers’ diet will include more meat steaks, and to reduce tension and conflict situations between employees, a special women’s detachment will be created, which will include recently relocated Russian citizens.

Author: Lilit Vardanian

This text is a grotesque parody of reality and is not real news
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